For our beer humor section, we have selected a few good beer jokes
that we've had a good laugh about. We figure you'll do the same because
these are some real funny beer jokes. This beer humor section is updated
regularly with the best of the best beer jokes, so please do keep
checking back. We also welcome your beer jokes submissions, so please
do use the email link at the bottom left of this page to send us your
favorite beer jokes. Hope you enjoy the beer humor.
Real Funny Beer Joke
True story from Orange County: A man goes to a party and has too much
to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He
says no - he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party
the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the
car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares
out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away.
The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back
- and they run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits
and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his
wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking
for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours
later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there
and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he
is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his
driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist
on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door
where they find: the police car, lights still flashing. This true
story was told by the driver at his first AA meeting, according to
the newspaper account.
Beer Joke About The Devil
The Devil walks into a crowded bar. When the people see who it is,they
all run out except this one old man. So the devil walks up to him
and says" Do you know who I am?" and the old man sips his
beer and answers "yep". The Devil says "Well, why aren't
you afraid of me?" The old man looks over and says" I've
been married to your sister for 27 years, why the hell should I be
scared of you."
Corona vs. Budweiser vs. Coors vs. Guinness Joke
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery
presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey
Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like
the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the
only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give
me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken
aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't
you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness
president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking
beer, neither would I."
Drunk Guy Beer Humor
A guy stumbles home completely wasted. He spends at least an hour
trying to get the key into the lock, with no success. A policeman
happens to pass by. "hey whats the trouble mister?" "I
cant get the damn key in the lock" says the man. The cop helps
him out with the key and starts to go on his way. the drunk shouts
"wait wait, I really appreciate it, let me show you my house!!"
"No no, I'll just be on my way"says the cop. "no no
just a second, I really want to show you!! So the cop finally agrees
and they go inside. They enter the living room. "there's my tv,
my stereo and all that" says the man. "thats nice"
They go through the kitchen. "there's my microwave, the new refrigerator,
pretty nice huh?" kids bedroom, "those are my 2 baby boys"
"yes, they look cute" finally the mans bedroom "that
there's my wife, and thats me next to her."